NOW tell me these fuckers don’t look like they should be the new cast of Friends.
"Seriously though, Crystal," Holland said, looking down at her blouse, “Does this accent my breasts or not?"
Crystal glanced back up from where she was wiping down the table of their apartment, a look of annoyance in her eye, “Yes, Holland, I’m sure Mr.Can-I-Get-Some-More-Coffee-Please-Hottie will be very interested in your breasts.”
Holland looked back down at her blouse and sighed, “You’re right… I should go more sophisticated.”
Crystal rolled her eyes as Holland went back into her room and a knock came from the door as Hoechlin walked in looking fairly shaken up, “Hey, Hoech, what’s wrong?”
"Nothing, nothing," Hoechlin said, putting his coat on the chair before moving over to the couch to sit and kick his legs up, “Just… walking back from my job and a black cat walked in front of me. Whole day’s ruined."
Crystal paused what she was doing to look up and at the back of Hoechlin’s head, “A black cat ruined your day.”
Hoechlin rolled his eyes, “You’re right, that menace probably is out there right now ruining other people’s day too. Heartless.”
Holland walked back out of her room, now wearing a black turtle neck, “Okay how about this?”
Crystal opened her mouth to respond when Hoechlin put his hand on his chin and squinted, “For Mr.Can-I-Have-Some-More-Coffee-Please-Hottie? Needs more breasts.”
Holland shot a dark look at Crystal before turning on her heel and going back into her room. Crystal rolled her eyes again as the door opened and Tyler walked in, already in a heated discussion with Dylan.
"Listen," Tyler said, motioning his hands in explanation, “I’m just saying that if they guy walks away from the table there’s a five minute rule before you can start flirting with his date."
Dylan gave him a sarcastic look as they sat on the couch next to Hoechlin, “Oh yes, I forgot, subsection 2 of paragraph A on the twenty second page of “Why-Posey-Get’s-Punched-For-Flirting-With-Other-People’s-Dates.”
Tyler grinned, “Got her number though. Score!”
Crystal shook her head as another knock came to the door. She walked over and opened it, seeing Colton standing there looking gloomy.
"Hi." he said in a deep, mournful tone. Crystal stuck out her bottom lip and brought him inside, sitting him at the table, “Rough day?"
"The worst," Colton groaned, “Carol just moved all her stuff out. Single-handedly."
Tyler shook his head, “Wow. Can’t believe you didn’t know she was a lesbian.”
Colton shot him a dirty look before Holland walked back into the room, wearing a different blouse, “Alright, how’s THIS one look for my boobs?”
Tyler and Dylan’s jaws dropped as Colton quickly stood and motioned to her, “What, why… why, why would that matter?”
Holland tilted her head, “Mr.Can-I-Have-Some-More-Coffee-Please-Hottie is taking me out tonight.”
Crystal nodded as she continued to wipe the counter, “Yes, and we’re all very excited to see if he’s interested in her two lumps.”
Hoechlin’s brow furrowed, “Wait, he wanted lumps with the coffee? Man, I was just getting this guy’s name right, now there’s With-Two-Lumps added in there?”
Dylan rubbed Hoechlin’s back sympathetically, “It’s alright, Hoech, Eventually we’ll get to know him and he’ll ask us to just call him Mr.Can for short.”
Colton shook his head, still looking at Holland, “No, um… no don’t you think something a little warmer and longer and less revealing would make a good impression, I mean… you don’t want to look like your boobs are a big deal.”
Holland’s brow furrowed, “But they are a big deal.”
Dylan and Tyler nodded as Colton rolled his eyes and Holland pushed past him, “I’ve got to go, Mr.Can-I-Have-Some-More-Coffee-Please-Hottie is going to be there soon. Wish me luck!”
She left and the rest all turned to look at Colton. “What!?” he asked, exasperatedly.
"Dude, just tell her already." Dylan said, “She’s going out on a date with a guy who’s name hopefully is shorter than what she calls him.”
Colton shook his head as he returned to his seat at the table, “She’s not interested in me.”
"Well yeah, you haven’t given her the chance." Crystal said, rubbing his back encouragingly as Hoechlin got up to look out the window, “Just… ease into it."
"Ew." Hoechlin said, pointing out the window, “Ugly Naked Coach is reenacting the scene from Independence day again."
They all got up to look out the window and winced all at once. “God I used to like that movie.” Dylan said as they all moved away from the window.